Good morning. Welcome to this episode of Reflective Hour with Tammy Toney-Butler. I'm your host, but we all know who the real host of this show is, and that's Christ.
Thank you for joining us today. I know you have your choice of podcasts to listen to and follow and YouTube shows to watch and follow. And I'm glad that you chose this one that you subscribed to, this one, whether it's through Apple podcast or through whatever platform; I'm grateful every time you go to the YouTube shows and you hit like and subscribe to the channel that helps us, that helps us spread the Word of God out there to a larger audience because isn't that what we're called to do to spread the Gospel, to spread His Truth.
That's what I'm called to do.
I'm called to spread the Truth of God's Word to a lost and dying generation, to those who are filled with hopelessness, loneliness, shame, guilt, fear, regret, and self-loathing.
Those who have been victimized, marginalized, hurt, or abandoned. Those in need of a redemptive, restorative Savior.
Christ came so that we could have life. He didn't come to condemn us. He came to save us.
There's no judgment when we follow Christ; as far as condemnation, maybe that's a better word.
We will be judged if we do not repent and turn and follow the will of God.
If we choose idols and choose the world's truth over God's Truth.
Christ came to set us free. We are worthy of being saved. We have a purpose.
We have a path that we are to walk as part of the body of Christ, where He's the Head, and we're the body.
We are to be unified in purpose, in power, in strength, in might so that we can break off every demonic stronghold, every spirit of fear, every spirit of addiction, every yoke with bondage, with darkness.
Break off now in the name of Jesus, with the power and authority of Jesus.
I call forth healing, restoration, and strength.
That's the God I serve—the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.
Abba Father.
That's what we're going to talk about today in this episode.
It's a spiritual family.
Many of us come from broken families. We've been abandoned and hurt by those who were supposed to love and protect us. But they didn't.
We can't do anything about that.
We can't force anyone to love us.
But know that we're daughters and sons of the King, part of a spiritual family, one in Christ.
Does not matter the color of our skin.
Does not matter if we're male or female?
It does not matter if we're a Jew or Gentile.
We are one body coming together with the common purpose of winning souls into the Kingdom before the coming of eternal judgment.
We are to bring in the last day harvest, harvesting souls, walking in power and might and strength and authority as believers, knowing that we have the power to heal, knowing that we have the power to break off demonic strongholds, to take territory for the Kingdom of God, to be sold out for Jesus, in a world that doesn't even see Him.
Many have accused me of being a quote, "Jesus freak." I am. I love Jesus. I love Abba, Father.
Christ set me free of the weight of the shame, the guilt, the fear, the regret, the self-loathing, the trauma.
He broke every chain, and I am His mouthpiece. Sent to deliver a message of hope and healing, letting you know that you can be set free from spiritual famine, spiritual death, addiction, depression, hopelessness, and loneliness.
We break those off now in the name of Jesus.
You will be transformed in mind, body, and spirit.
Call out to Jesus. He's waiting.
He was waiting for the woman at the well. He met her where she was in her moment of need. She didn't even realize it; He was sitting there, ready to give her a drink of Living Water from a well that would never run dry.
He stepped right into her circumstance, right into her world, right into her darkness. Even though it was noonday and the sun was shining bright, Her soul was saddened with loneliness and despair, spiritual drought, and lies spoken over her through judgment by others.
How many times have we done that? Judging someone based on their appearance, the color of their skin, the car they drive, and the money in their bank account.
How many of us have preconceived biases?
How many of us judge people based on political party, gender, or gender (sexual) orientation?
Christ loved the sinner, not the sin. We are not to partake in the sin. Wrong is wrong.
I sinned. We all fall short of the Glory of the Lord.
But who am I to judge another?
Our responsibility is to show them the Light and Love of Christ.
He will transform them and heal them. They merely need to surrender to repent of their sins and ask for His forgiveness.
Even if you can't utter a word, it's your heart posture. It's the surrendering of your heart to the Will of God.
To say, not my will, but yours be done, O God. Not my will, but yours be done, O God.
Isn't that what Jesus said when he was going to the Cross?
We have a choice in our walk as Christians and as believers.
We can merely have salvation (religion) by going to church, believing that Jesus is the Son of God, repeating the words, raising our hand, and when they do a call.
Many times I raised my hand, I said, yes, I accept Jesus, yes, I believe He's the Son of God, yes, I believe He died on the Cross for me, but my heart was so broken and hardened by bitterness, by unforgiveness, by fear, shame, all this stuff, all this junk that was just in my heart from trauma that was left over.
I coped with the trauma through addictions.
Whether it was to sex, whether it was to alcohol, whether it was to food, I was broken, and there were times I would call out. I was even baptized a couple of times. I think I remember.
Why wasn't I transformed then?
I asked myself that question for years. I believed in God. I knew Jesus was the son of God, but I wasn't different.
I had the weight, the icky. I walked around spiritually dead.
It was the moment of surrender. When I had to surrender the little girl whom more than one individual sexually assaulted, I now know that would have been considered human trafficking.
I had to surrender her and all the shame, guilt, fear, regret, self-loathing, self-sabotage, imposter syndrome, addiction, and everything that went with her.
I had to leave her basically at the foot of the Cross and everything attached to her; I left her on the grounds of Ave Maria; you can find my testimony in another episode; I think it's episode one of Reflective Hour.
You can also follow it on the blog at reflectivespacesministry.com.
There are photos of my journey.
I think I had to be broken and truly surrender. Because what do we do as survivors, right? When they victimize us and take our control, we try to control everything.
And we make sure that no one's ever going to hurt us again. And you want me to trust a father? I mean, that didn't go so well. And I lost my dad to suicide. I lost him before that to Vietnam, to trauma, to alcoholism.
He abandoned us when I was a couple of years old, maybe, and chose a new family. He never could parent me because of his trauma. And then he took his life, and we buried him on Father's Day when I was 15. I lost my mother to trauma.
Trauma destroyed my family. I don't want it to destroy yours.
I was having panic attacks. I was successful by the world's standards. I was working as an ER nurse and working even in publishing at the time.
Inside, I was falling apart. I had a failed marriage and Got divorced.
I was shrouded by such darkness. I was faking it till I made it. But It wasn't working.
I was having anxiety attacks, and I was like, what is this? And I was so broke. And I knew that not one more day could I continue. I couldn't carry it anymore. Not the shame, the guilt, the fear, the regret, the icky, none of it.
All of it placed on me the moment I was victimized.
It was never my choice. I didn't have a choice. It was my mom's failure to protect me that opened me up to being victimized over and over and over again and being a sex slave to more than one man for years.
Feeling so dirty, you can never utter the things that happen to you.
People do not understand why you don't go around your family—not understanding that you just can't because you have to try to maintain a little distance so that you can heal.
Only to revive those relationships later as you heal. As they heal. As God guides you to rekindle that, sometimes putting boundaries in place with friends and others that we need to.
I realized that Christ, the Holy Spirit, was leading me. God the Father, I don't understand how it all works. I obey. But a voice, a whisper, led me. To Ave Maria that day, and I obeyed it and sat with me, and showed me that Jesus was a victim. He was spit on, beaten, ridiculed, hurt, pierced, battered, bruised, broken, like I was.
I was broken. Jesus and I had a lot in common, huh? That's what I realized.
And the Lord said to me, or a voice, not a loud voice of God, anything like that. It was just a whisper, a knowing. That you have to leave that little girl here, and you have to choose to walk in victory. You have to choose not to be a victim anymore.
Yes, they did those things to you. But you have to leave all that with Me, and you have to surrender.
And I asked God to take it. I said, not one more second will I carry that. I can't do it. Not another second. Take it from me. Take that little girl and set me free.
And He did. I rose from that bench. I felt like I was 50 pounds lighter.
There was such brightness and joy. I can't describe it. I don't know how to describe it. The icky was gone. The weight of it was gone. It was just different. Everything was just different.
I felt alive. I could see and hear things, and even that night, Christ tucked me in and said you don't need that Ambien to get to sleep.
You don't need that wine. You've got Me now.
And I never cursed again after that. After that moment when the Holy Spirit came inside of me, and I prayed for the Holy Spirit to fill me up, for that Fresh Wind to blow, the Holy Spirit filled me.
The Holy Spirit filled me and transformed me.
It's been a process: Transforming my mind and heart.
My heart was first of Jesus, my mind, and my actions and deeds followed.
The food addiction was close to the last thing that He had broken off. And I'm 75, 80-something pounds lighter, not recognizing who this person is that's speaking to you, excited to find out what purpose I have to fulfill for the Kingdom of God, walking in it, walking in that power and anointing and that authority that He has graced me with to break every yoke of bondage off of all those within the sound of this podcast.
This YouTube channel is so that you know the truth that I was delivered, and you can be, too.
And everyone within the sound of my voice. You are being healed now. Healed from addiction. Healed from the aftermath of trauma. From depression, loneliness, and hopelessness.
You have a purpose.
You belong to a family—a spiritual family. You are not alone. You are loved. You are worthy of love.
Let's see what God's Word says about the spiritual family.
Mark 3, starting at 3:31.
New International Version
Jesus describes His true family.
31: Then Jesus’ mother and brothers arrived. Standing outside, they sent someone in to call him.
32: A crowd was sitting around him, and they told him, “Your mother and brothers are outside looking for you.”
33: “Who are my mother and my brothers?” he asked.
34: Then he looked at those seated in a circle around him and said, “Here are my mother and my brothers!
35: Whoever does God’s will is my brother and sister and mother.”
We are one body.
United to carry out the will of God, underneath the Head, which is Christ.
We all have our role to play.
The devil came to kill, steal, destroy, and try to stop what God had ordained before He placed me in the womb. He knew me and knew what I was to do for the Kingdom, my purpose. The devil came to try to stop that.
But I chose not to be a victim anymore. I chose to fight. To be victorious, to surrender and obey.
And all I am is about doing the will of my Father.
Abba Father.
Mirroring Christ, in action and deed, in words.
Words can build up, or words can destroy. We have to be careful with our tongue. We have to be careful with our actions.
We are to edify and to build up the body of Christ, united together under one common purpose.
For a house divided cannot stand,
We need to unite around the world to usher in peace, joy, long-suffering and hope to a dark, dying, decaying world.
We need to show them the love and mercy of Christ in all that we do. And let them know that freedom is possible.
I have such joy and peace. The spirit of fear is gone, and I break it off of you now in the name of Jesus.
I went through a category-five storm in a shed with me and Jesus.
The old me would, that would have never been possible. The new me sat there for 24 hours with pounding winds and rain,
unrelenting the noise.
I drew strength from the Wellspring of Living Water in Christ, knowing that nothing would happen to me.
No weapon formed should ever prosper.
Knowing I was tucked under the Shadow of the Wing of the Almighty God.
There is no fear here, for I walk in His power, anointing, authority, peace, and protection.
That's what He offers to believers in the body of Christ.
We must tether so tightly to Him, especially during these last days.
His return is imminent.
We do not know the hour, but we can discern the signs of the times.
We also know the Whisper of the Spirit. He's speaking to us.
He's speaking to us through Prophets.
He's speaking to us through His Word.
Through this, we can see things around us.
We can see the darkness.
But we can choose to follow the Light.
There's freedom and hope in the Light.
I picked up a book. The Lord led me to it. And it's called, " I Am Number 8. Overlooked and undervalued. But Not Forgotten by God, " and it's by John W.Gray III.
The foreword was by Joel Osteen.
And I love it. I love the color and the cover.
And I want to read around pages 76-77.
And I don't know why I'm reading this. The Holy Spirit led me to this.
So I'm going to read this passage out of it, out of this amazing book, and I will pick up on page 76 where it says, "Say yes to self-sacrifice. "
[David was a shepherd who had no fight, who had to fight off lions and bears to protect his father's sheep. I realize that some may argue that challenging a lion and a bear for the life of a sheep was a foolish chance to take. But God was testing David's character. ]
How many of you have had your character tested?
How many of you have received a brother or sister in Christ that God sent to your door to deliver a Word?
How did you receive them?
Where did you place them at the table?
What did you offer them?
Did you offer them a drink?
Did you sit with your brethren? Or did you want to be set apart from them?
For we are all equal in the sight of God.
[Will you lay down your life for a sheep, son? Will you risk yourself for an animal who probably put itself in harm's way? Will you honor your father's flock even though you had no stake in the sheep? Is the life of a sheep worth losing your life? David's answer was yes. He placed extreme value on something others thought was replaceable and unworthy of endangering themselves, for David fought for what he believed was right, and he did it in a way that caused his name to be etched in history. That's why David was the forerunner of Jesus Christ, the Good Shepherd, who laid down his life for his sheep.]
It goes on to read something from, you know, Ray Sedman, and then towards the end of the page, it says, "Number eights, fight for those who can't fight for themselves. And sometimes for those who can but won't. "
This book I'm reading is just powerful to me. " I am number eight. Overlooked and undervalued, but not forgotten by God." John W. Gray, III
Powerful book.
Are you fighting for those who are marginalized?
Oppressed?
Struggling with addiction? Mental health issues?
Struggling to cope in the aftermath of trauma through addiction?
Are we judging them? Are we saying, well, look, they got themselves in that? Why aren't they working?
We tend to judge.
We tend to say, well, how did they enter this country?
Was it legal or illegal?
Are they a Democrat or Republican?
We judge.
What would Jesus do? Would He compare you to a Pharisee, a Sadducee?
He came to redeem us, to set us free.
He came to offer hope and freedom from the bondage of sin, for the wages of sin are death.
What are you yoking to?
Are you tying yourself and hanging on to the Hem of His garment?
Or Are you hanging on to this world's ways, material possessions, and other idols?
We are to repent and turn back towards God, towards Lord Jesus,
Abba Father,
a relationship where we surrender and obey, not just have the title of a Christian,
not just attend church, but transform a world, a nation, a community.
That is what we are to do in this hour.
We are to heal.
We are to help.
We are to love.
We are to sacrifice.
We are to serve.
We are to show the world the grace and mercy, a peace that surpasses all understanding and love—our Lord Jesus, Abba Father.
I leave you with that.
That's today's episode of Reflective Hour with Tammy Toney-Butler.
