Letting Go

(Trigger Warning: Subject matter may cause a myriad of emotions and lead to unease).

Do you feel guilty about a decision that may have hurt another, cost them their life, or cost you your peace?

A piece of you died with that decision. We must find our way by looking at God's Truth; although difficult to hear at times, as a Father, He corrects His children. We must listen and obey, for He gives us abundant life and freedom from sin.

Today's readings examine Proverbs 9, 2 Peter 2, and 2 Corinthians 5 for His Truth.

Reflect on His goodness and mercy as you navigate the seasons of loss.
Loss of a child through abortion, adoption, losing custody, or maybe the loss of your inner child.

Follow along as Tammy Toney-Butler, a survivor of child sex trafficking and loss of father to suicide as a teenager, helps you navigate the darkness, reflect on His goodness and mercy, and find your way to the Light.

Tammy is a lived experience expert whose unique teaching style and trauma-focused lens perspective offer the learner an environment conducive to healing mind, body, and spirit.

Tammy is outspoken in her mission to provide a trauma-responsive pulpit and compassionate, merciful lens through which one offers pastoral support.

Join Tammy on the Reflective Hour Podcast and YouTube channel for healing support. https://reflectivehourwithtammytoneybutler.buzzsprout.com/

You can purchase her book on Amazon Kindle, "When you know, that you know, that you know there is a God."

https://www.amazon.com/stores/Tammy-Toney-Butler/author/B0DC1VXP45?ref=ap_rdr&isDramIntegrated=true&shoppingPortalEnabled=true

Check out the ministry website at www.reflectivespacesministry.com

Click on the link to donate to further her reach and God's call on her life to minister to the sick, broken, hurting, and marginalized:
https://www.paypal.com/fundraiser/charity/4406377

Hotline numbers: https://www.reflectivespacesministry.com/contact

About Tammy: https://www.reflectivespacesministry.com/about

Pastor Henry Nwaneri's book on Triggers Link to Purchase: https://www.amazon.com/Triggers-Overcoming-offense-emotional-overcomer-ebook/dp/B0CW18TFPC?ref_=ast_author_mpb

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Transcript

Welcome to today's episode of Reflective Hour with Tammy Toney-Butler. We all know who the real host of this show is, and that's Christ. Holy Spirit, come have your way in this time that we have together. Let them see you and your truth. And let the truth set them free. In your mighty name, Jesus, we pray. Amen. Wow. Today's episode is about navigating loss. It's about letting go. Letting go of past hurts. Trials. Choices that we've made. Circumstances that we've found ourselves in. That led us down paths of destruction. And outcomes that were not necessarily godly. are choices made from a righteous lens of hope and healing. We often make choices based on survival, feelings in the moment, succumbing to our flesh, deceit from Satan, and not being able to discern the truth, the pathway of righteousness for his name's sake. It's a difficult journey, a path to walk when we follow the Lord in all that we do. And we choose light, truth, and not this world. in the systems of the world and the values of the world. When we say no to evil and choose good, sadly we'll suffer as Christians. We often fall on hard times. But remember, Christ was also persecuted. beaten, hurt, shamed, stripped naked. He was a victim, like many of us. But he rose to victory, was resurrected, ascended to the right side of the Father, and is our advocate today. We have a Savior, That understands our infirmities. And meets us. Where we're at. Today's teaching. Is one that he laid on my heart. So that we can reflect. And look. Some of our choices. Some of our decisions. And we can find the pathway forward. To healing. As we learn. to let go and let God. So tune in to today's episode of Reflective Hour with Tammy Toney Butler. That's me. And let's see what Christ has in store for us today. Through his Holy Spirit, may his truth reign, resonate, and transform our hearts and our minds, so that we have the heart of Christ and the mind of Christ. Let's dive in. Today, I will be reading out of the Life Application Study Bible, the New International Version, and I will be starting and reading in Proverbs 9. So we'll start with Proverbs 9. And then I will move to 2 Peter 2, 2 Corinthians 5. Proverbs 9. Invitations of wisdom and of folly is how it is titled. Wisdom has built her house. She has hewn out its seven pillars. She has prepared her meat and mixed her wine. She has also set her table. She has sent out her maids and she calls from the highest point of the city. Let all who are simple come in here. She says to those who lack judgment, come eat my food and drink the wine I've mixed. Leave your simple ways and you will live. Walk in the way of understanding. Whoever corrects a mocker invites insult. Whoever rebukes a wicked man incurs abuse. Do not rebuke a mocker or he will hate you. Rebuke a wise man and he will love you. Instruct a wise man and he will be wiser still. Teach a righteous man and he will add to his learning. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. For through me your days will be many and years will be added to your life. If you are wise, your wisdom will reward you. If you are a mocker, you alone will suffer. The woman folly is loud. She is undisciplined and without knowledge. She sits at the door of her house on a seat at the highest point of the city. calling out to those who pass by who go straight on their way lets all who are simple come in here she says to those who lack judgment stolen water is sweet food eaten in secret is delicious but little do they know that the dead are there that her guests are in the depths of the grave let's unpack that a little bit with the commentary on page The seven pillars are figurative. They do not represent seven principles of wisdom. In the Bible, the number seven represents completeness and perfection. This verse poetically states that wisdom lacks nothing. It is complete and perfect. Wisdom and folly. or foolishness, are portrayed in this chapter as rival young women, each preparing a feast and inviting people to it. But wisdom is a responsible woman of character, while folly is a prostitute serving stolen food. Wisdom appeals first to the mind, Folly to the senses. It is easier to excite the senses, but the pleasures of folly are temporal. By contrast, the satisfaction that wisdom brings lasts forever. So wisdom is eternal. So now let's move to 2 Peter 2. 2 Peter 2. And that was Proverbs 9 that I just read. So now we're going to move to 2 Peter 2. And again, I'm giving these to you in the order in which the Holy Spirit gave them to me. So in 2 Peter 2, it's entitled, Danger to Growing Christians, False Teachers and Their Destruction. And as we look at Proverbs 9, It's saying, are we following wisdom, seeking understanding, or are we following folly, senses, false teachers? So now we're looking at 2 Peter 2, the New International Reader's Version Life Application Study Bible. So danger to growing Christians, false teachers, and their destruction. But there were also false prophets among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you. They will secretly introduce destructive heresies, even denying the sovereign Lord who bought them, bringing swift destruction on themselves. Many will follow their shameful ways and will bring the way of truth into disrepute. In their greed, these teachers will exploit you with stories they have made up. Their condemnation has long been hanging over them, and their destruction has not been sleeping. For if God did not spare angels when they sinned, but sent them to hell, putting them into gloomy dungeons to be held for judgment, if he did not spare the ancient world when he brought the flood on its ungodly people, but protected Noah, a preacher of righteousness, and seven others, if he condemned the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah by burning them to ashes and made them an example of what is going to happen to the ungodly, and if he rescued Lot, a righteous man who was distressed by the filthy lives of lawless men, for that righteous man living among them day after day was tormented in his righteous soul by the lawless deeds he saw and heard. If this is so, then the Lord knows how to rescue godly men from trials and to hold the unrighteous for the day of judgment while continuing their punishment. This is especially true of those who follow the corrupt desire of the sinful nature and despise authority. Bold and arrogant, these men are not afraid to slander celestial beings, yet even angels, although they are stronger and more powerful, do not bring slanderous accusations against such beings in the presence of the Lord. But these men blasphemy in matters they do not understand. They are like brute beasts, creatures of instinct, born only to be caught and destroyed, and like beasts they too will perish." They will be paid back with harm for the harm they have done. Their idea of pleasure is to carouse in broad daylight. They are blots and blemishes reveling in their pleasures while they feast with you. With eyes full of adultery, they never stop sinning. They seduce the unstable. They are experts in greed and a cursed brood. They have left the straight way and wandered off to follow the way of the lamb son of Beor, who loved the wages of wickedness. But he was rebuked for his wrongdoing by a donkey, a beast without speech, who spoke with a man's voice and restrained the prophet's madness. These men are springs without water. and mist driven by a storm. Blackest darkness is reserved for them, for they mouth empty boastful words, and by appealing to the lustful desires of sinful human nature, they entice people who are just escaping from those who live in error. They promise them freedom, while they themselves are slaves of depravity, for a man is a slave to whatever has mastered him. If they have escaped the corruption of the world by knowing our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and are again entangled in it and overcome, they are worse off at the end than they were at the beginning. It would have been better for them to not to have known the way of righteousness than to have known it and then to turn their backs on the sacred command that was passed on to them. Of them, the proverbs are true. A doll returns to its vomit and a sow that is washed goes back to her wallowing in the mud. So when we kind of unpack that a little bit on page 2270, reading out of the commentary here, of the Life Application Study Bible, then we see here that I want to highlight a person is a slave to whatever controls him or her. Many believe that freedom means doing anything we want, but no one is ever completely free in that sense. If we refuse to follow God, we will follow our own sinful desires and become enslaved to what our bodies want. If we submit our lives to Christ, he will free us from slavery to sin. Christ frees us to serve him. A freedom that results in our ultimate good. Now we're going to go on to 2 Corinthians 5. 2 Corinthians 5. And I'm going to pick up actually starting with 11 at the Ministry of Reconciliation. And remember, a changed heart must show fruit. Because if you're an unfruitful tree for the kingdom, you will be cut off. Your life should mirror Christ in action indeed. A humbling servant It's a ministry of reconciliation. Since then we know what it is to fear the Lord. We try to persuade men. What we are is plain to God and I hope it is also plain to your conscience. We are not trying to commend ourselves to you again, but are giving you an opportunity to take pride in us so that you can answer those who take pride in what is seen rather than in what is in the heart. If we are out of our mind, it is for the sake of God. If we are in a right mind, it is for you. For Christ's love compels us because we are convinced that one died for all and therefore all died. And he died for all that those who live should no longer live for themselves, but for him who died for them and was raised again. So from now on, we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has gone. The new has come. All this is from God who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation. that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ ambassadors as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf, be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. Wow. See that? He's not sitting around passing that judgment on us, ready to say, you sinner, you sinner, you can't enter into the kingdom. That's not the God I serve. That's not my father. My father is one that has shown me his unconditional love, even though I made choices. I call them survival responses, trauma responses. I made choices from the lens of trauma, from the perspective of trauma, from a mind shaped and molded by trauma. And I affected a generation. I hurt others. I sinned. I was fallen short of the glory of the Lord on more than one occasion. But he set me free. It was in that moment of surrender Surrendering that little girl that all those things happened to. Those dirty things that took her innocence and made me in my own strength try to protect her most of my adult life so that she would never be victimized again. I was going to work my way to success so no one would ever Have control of me again. I'd make all the money I could. But it wasn't enough. Didn't matter how much money I made. How many people I helped. Didn't matter. I still felt lost and empty inside and dead. Christ came to give me life. And he did. He set me free. on the grounds of Ave Maria in Florida, where I read a book that changed me. When I read that Jesus was a victim, but it wasn't that he was a victim. It was that he arose victorious so that we can lead a victorious life. We don't have to wallow. in the shame, the guilt, the fear, the regret, the self-loathing, the self-condemnation, that our choices, that our sin has placed upon us as shackles, heavy weights of deception, heavy weights, heavy weights that threaten to consume us. Christ set me free of all that. I repented of my sins and I said, even though I couldn't remember all of them, I just said, I can't live that old life. I can't continue to walk around dead inside. Although I was successful by man's standards and I faked it till I made it. I was nothing. Felt the rags even. Lord Jesus saved me, set me free, washed me clean. of the Merck and the Meyer. Many of you have made choices that affected another generation, another human being. Many of you made choices based on survival from a lens and a perspective of trauma, just trying to survive. Maybe you gave a child up for adoption. Maybe you had one taken away from you because you were trying to cope through addiction. Maybe you had an abortion because you just didn't believe you were worthy enough or had the capacity to raise a child. Maybe you had an abortion because you were sexually assaulted and you didn't want it as a reminder every day of what had happened to you and that child being a trigger. These are difficult choices that we face today. It's not black and white. These issues are hard. It's difficult. We measure them against God's truth. Recognize that we've sinned. We've had an abortion. We've sinned. If we've lied, we've sinned. If we committed adultery, we've sinned. If we've killed someone, we've sinned. If we've robbed someone, we've sinned. If we're judging others, we're sinning. Remember, Christ came to give life. Full, abundant life. We are to love. That's the greatest commandment. Love God with all our heart, right? Love our neighbor as ourself. We're to walk in that abundant love and show that love to others. Recognizing that we've all sinned. That we wear filthy rags, but Christ came to set us free as we read about in the ministry of reconciliation. He made us righteous. Not of our own earning it or our own merit, but from his mercy and his grace. Abba Father sent his son to die on the cross so we could have abundant life. What father does that? And Jesus said, yes. And bore the cross by his stripes, you were healed. So that you could move from victim to victorious, to overcomer, to thriver. A changed life when you're truly set. When you surrender it all at the cross, total control, recognizing you can't do anything in your own strength. When you truly submit and say, Lord Jesus, come in and be Lord and Savior of my life. Not my will, but yours be done. Transform my mind, everything. Help me to have the heart of Christ, the mind of Christ. Make me a new creature. I repent of my sins. I repent of the past of all the things I've done and I no longer want to partner with sin. I want to be made fresh and new and a new creature. He will do it and you will be forever changed and your life will be a reflection of that. You won't eat the same things. You won't dress the same way. You won't watch the TV shows you used to watch. I haven't cursed a word since that time that the Holy Spirit came in and changed me and filled me up and took the weight of it away. The shame, the guilt, the fear, the regret, the self-loathing, the icky, and made me a new creature. Exchanging that Holy Spirit of truth for the lies and deception of the enemy. I chose the light. I chose life. I chose truth. And I said, no more to darkness, no more to deception. I chose to walk in faith. Remember, faith is not what we see. It's calling what's invisible and making it visible. It's speaking life. Remember, God spoke the world into existence. Our words matter. Speak life over yourself, not condemnation. Know that if you ask, Christ forgives you. And no, we don't remember all of our sin and our mind blocks us. We can't possibly remember everything and repent of every single thing, but it's the posture of your heart. It's the surrendering to something greater than yourself, to that Lord Jesus, knowing that he's a son of God, that he rose again, and is seated at the right side of the Father. He is our advocate, our comforter, truly believing on Christ and asking Him to be Lord and Savior of your life and your heart, submitting and surrendering to His will, recognizing that's the only way to salvation, to eternal life. No one comes to the Father but through Lord Jesus. Forgiving yourself for the abortion, forgiving yourself for giving a child up for adoption, Forgiving yourself for even the loss of a child. Maybe something happened to one of your children. They were taken away or put in the system or they were abused or they were hurt. Don't carry that guilt and that shame. Don't carry it. It's a lie. Walk in abundant life. Those relationships can be restored. Because it's when we understand and look through the lens of trauma and what I did and forgave my mom for the choices that she made out of survival mode that put me in harm's way and led me to be victimized. I was able to forgive her. I can't and I knew I could not hold on to seeds of bitterness and hate and unforgiveness because they only block the flow of the truth. Of God's truth from coming in and healing me from the inside out. Having that heart change, that posture. And walking in that abundant life that he wants us to walk in. Cut yourself some slack. Forgive yourself. That's the hardest thing that we have to do. Forgive yourself. Forgive yourself. Forgive yourself. Forgive yourself, forgive others. That doesn't mean you have to forget, but unforgiveness robs you of the freedom to move past and move forward from the darkness, to move away from the darkness and move into the light that transforms us, that heals us, that strengthens us. And that's what this episode of Reflective Hour is about. It's about moving forward from the mistakes of the past, from the choices of the past that were made from a place of survival. Maybe you had to steal to get food to put on the table. Maybe you had to go out and turn a trick or you were a victim of human trafficking and you were made to have sex with multiple men and Johns. And you were made to steal. You were made to do things. You were made to do things that were so shameful and dirty. But that is not your cross to carry your burden to carry. Christ came to set you free, to give you abundant life. And you are never too dirty to be set free by Christ. Never, never too dirty. He will never leave you nor forsake you. He loves you. Your royalty in his eyes. So come to him and seek that forgiveness. He will set you free of all of it. And that heavy weight that's been choking you and strangling you to where you cannot get to sleep at night, you can't rest. He will set you free to where you can sleep like a baby. You can rest in the peace that surpasses all understanding and that knowing Christ brings to us. Even though we're in a world of chaos, even though we're in a world of darkness, Christ is our light, our guide, our anchor, and our truth. Follow him. He's the way. Thank you so much for tuning in to today's episode of Reflective Hour with Tammy Toney Butler. Now, I do want to leave you with a little nugget of wisdom. In our last episode of Reflective Hour, we had Pastor Henry Nwaneri, a mighty man of God, a man of faith. And boy, he just brought the Holy Spirit into that episode, took it over. I don't even know that we even talked about his book because we just let the spirit flow. I had so many people reach out to me, so many survivors, victims that said, boy, he really helped me. That was amazing, his teachings. And I needed that. That was such a timely word. And we just let the Holy Spirit have his way. He wanted Pastor Nwaneri as a guest. He wanted it in that timing because there was one person or two or three that needed to hear that. And even if the 99 are safe, he goes after the one. And I wanted to further highlight his book, "Triggers" that we didn't get to. I did order it and I'm reading it and it's good. And it's "Overcoming the Spirit of Offense, How to Ensure Your Emotional Healing." Got it off of Amazon. And that's his picture on the back. And the Lord put on me today to read out of page 17, because this content that we talked about can be triggering. And Henry says something in here that was profound. And you know how we do things that people tell us to do things that we don't know why we're doing them like journaling. How many of you've been told to journal? I mean, I've got my journal right here somewhere in my hand. Where's my journal? Here's my journal. I have different ones. This one was given to me and I'm using it. And what he wrote in here about quote trigger journaling is powerful. So I'm reading out of Henry's book, page 17. And it's called trigger journaling, or this, he's got it in bold, maintaining a journal that chronicles triggers. Their impact and our responses serves as a powerful tool for identifying patterns and crafting coping mechanisms tailored to our unique needs. People often ask me, me and Henry, why they need to do all of these things if Jesus could just heal them and deliver them from all of it. I tell them that Jesus mostly heals people who know what they are sick of. That does not mean that Jesus does not heal people of things they knew nothing about. Journaling is one way we get to know what we are really doing. Journaling is how we figure that we are sick, need healing, and journaling helps figure out what it is we need healing from. The word of God says that the heart is desperately wicked. Who can discern it? Journaling is one way to overcome the tricks of the mind. Journaling keeps us sincere and helps us remember things the heart will not want to remember when we need it to. And he goes on to talk about breathing exercises, you know, getting mindful in the moment and recentering yourself when you are triggered, seeking support. There's no shame in getting help. We have hotline support information always on every show, every show notes on our website at reflectivespacesministry.com. And you can find that. And he also talks about creating safe havens. You know, I'm all about reflective spaces, all about environment. That's our ministry, reflective spaces ministry. And he talks about professional intervention. But I just thought that was powerful. And again, I was reading out of his book, Triggers. So that's how we are closing out this episode of Reflective Hour, Christ's Podcast. He birthed it. He's moving and shaking. He's got me bringing guests on. He's got me doing things, challenging me with content. We have to seek his truth. We have to turn from sin. We have to have a changed life because he's coming. He's coming for his purified bride. So we need to be ready to receive and our lamps need to be full of oil. Are you ready? Make sure that you like and subscribe us on our YouTube channels. Spread this content. Reflective Hour with Tammy Toney-Butler. Reflective Spaces Ministry. We have a YouTube channel now with teachings on there. There's a trauma responsive pulpit series that lets pastors, faith leaders, those with nonprofits who are providing services for victims of violence, human trafficking, childhood trauma, any type of trauma. It lets them understand the unique lens with which we do have triggers and how we need to be ministered to so that we aren't repelled by the word or turned off by the word. Because remember, some of us have had church hurt. Some of us have been victimized by people in the church. So it kind of highlights what we need and how we need to be ministered to through that lens of trauma, bringing in what adverse childhood experiences do, showing how to break off those chains of deception. So go back and listen to those teachings. Definitely tune into that trauma-responsive pulpit series. There's several videos in that series. And help us be effective leaders so that we can help others heal. That we can unite as the body of believers, as Christ, as his body because he's the head. And that we can spread that gospel of truth that sets individuals free. And that's his episode in his teaching today. Oh, Holy Spirit. Strengthen them. Help them as they dissect this content, as it resonates with them, and as your blood, the blood of Jesus, covers a multitude of sins, as it covers them, as they repent, as they turn back to you, as you wash them clean, making them new creatures. Strengthen them, God. Guide them, O Father. Love them. Show them the light and help them escape the darkness of their current circumstances. Choosing the light and life of truth. The way to abundant life and turning away from worldly pleasures and from the darkness of this world. Thank you, Father, for strengthening them and loving them as you've loved me. Thank you for guiding me during this episode. Thank you, Holy Spirit. In your mighty name we pray, Lord Jesus. Amen. Remember, Christ loves you and I love you. Thank you for tuning in.